


Are You Sure?

by Plum2705



Category: Take That
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 01:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plum2705/pseuds/Plum2705
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After nearly 20 years of tip-toeing around each other...Howard and Jason finally pluck up the courage to speak up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You Sure?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was first published on Take That Slash (Live Journal) as part of a fic challenge

Jason woke with a start. God did they never stop having sex? He looked at the clock, just after 3am. He’d done quite well, he’d slept for at least 3 hours, good by his standards, could have had longer if he’d not been in the next room to Howard. Why did he always end up with screamers? Always the same when next door to Howard…either he purposely picked the screamers or he did things to them that just made them scream with pleasure. Jason sighed and headed for the bathroom to splash his face with cold water.

Howard stared at the crumpled sheets and the car crash that was another relationship, sprawled across his bed. The smile on her lips from the sex they’d just had, her hair across the pillow, the sheets tangled around her feet. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, it was no good, he would have to tell her in the morning that things weren’t working out. Another relationship, another affair, why couldn’t he just find someone he could settle down with, be with someone where his eyes didn’t wander to the next person? He knew why, but he couldn’t do anything about it, it could break up the group, but the main reason was because he thought the person that he wanted to be with didn’t want to be with him. He closed his eyes for a second, his mind blurring from too much beer, too much pot then drifted into an uneasy doze.

Jason banged on the door. “Ah, you’re up then” he shouted in Howard’s face, as Howard looked at him confused, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, holding onto the door as if to steady his legs. “I listen to you two shagging all night, night after night, morning after morning!” Howard continued to stare at him, “I wouldn’t mind so much if I was getting any! But no…I’m not…and its not bloody helped with you and her at it like rabbits!” he stated firmly before turning on his heals and stalking back to his room slamming his own door shut and taking in a deep breathe. ‘Oh god’, Jason thought, ‘he was naked’! A smile spread across his face as he clambered back into bed…keeping the image of a naked Howard in his head long enough to get him back to his calm and soothing place.

*****

Howard looked across the breakfast room, staring at nothing in particular, trying not to catch anyone’s eye as he stirred his cup of tea.  
“Morning” said Gary cheerily as he patted Howard on the back and took a seat next to him. “There was a lot of slamming of doors last night!” he laughed, “Dawn wasn’t impressed at being woken up at 3 in the morning…so be warned…she’s in a mood! Oh morning love” he said rising and kissing Dawn on the cheek as she sat opposite Howard.

“Morning” she said as Howard smiled, “no Kate this morning?” she asked curtly.

“She’s gone” Howard replied quietly. Dawn and Gary looked at each other and frowned. 

“Gone?” asked Gary.

“We had a chatter this morning…it wasn’t working out” Howard replied sitting forward and staring into his cup of tea.

“But you’ve been together 18 months…you can’t just end it like that!” stated Dawn eating her toast. “Why did you finish it?”

“Just because” Howard stated firmly, “because its what I do….because I can’t seem to stick at a relationship longer than a few months before straying…because she doesn’t get me…get this” he said waving his arms around “just because she wants to talk all the time…wants to be out all the time…because she hates silence…thinks its boring to sit and watch the world go by…because she says I’m a grumpy old man on a morning…wants to be out clubbing every night…just because” he finished sadly. The rest of breakfast was strained and quiet.

*****

“What’s up with him?” Jason asked Gary as they sat waiting for the car to the gig. They both looked at Howard who was sat on a sofa in reception staring into his lap. Gary retold their conversation that morning, while Jason filled Gary in on the early morning rant he’d had.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” asked Gary making Jason pull a face and say he had no idea what he was talking about. “You know exactly what I’m talking about…Jay…just tell him how you feel…you’ve felt this way since 1990…its 2007 now…17 years have gone…17 years when you could have been together instead of you being single waiting to be asked out and him fucking up every relationship he has, waiting for the next ‘one’ to turn up”.

“Tell him so he can laugh at me and tell me to fuck off cos he’s not like that…no thanks Gary…anyway…I’m happy as I am…I have a good life and so what if I’m single…there isn’t a law against being single at my age! Besides…why ruin a friendship on a maybe” Jason sighed, “I just couldn’t risk losing his friendship or risk the band”. He smiled at Gary and squeezed his knee before security shouted they had to go.

Gary sighed as they headed out to the van, he’d known them both too long, he could see it in both their eyes when they absentmindedly gazed across the room at each other. ‘One day’ he thought as he tapped away on his thigh ‘or so help me…I’ll knock their heads together’.

*****

“You ok?” Jason asked Howard as they sat backstage in the dressing room. They’d arrived early at the gig, had the sound check and now was the ritual of relaxing before the concert. Howard smiled sadly at him and nodded. “I’m sorry about shouting this morning…its just you and her…well…you know” Jason said quietly looking from Howard to his lap, before scanning the room. Gary and Mark were bickering in the corner about how much sugar and honey Mark was putting into his drinks for his throat. “You know I don’t sleep so well and to be honest I’d had 3 full hours” he trailed off.

“Nothing seems to work out” Howard whispered, “I try so hard for things to work out with them…but nothing works” he sighed and looked up at Jason, “I just want something else every time…when its new I’m so head over heels that I don’t notice its wrong from the start”. 

“Maybe you should try something different” Jason ventured after a long pause. “Maybe its not you…maybe it’s the people you’re picking? Maybe you should try someone different for a change?”

Howard’s heart was beating so fast, why was Jason staring at him so intently? “Maybe” Howard whispered quietly to no-one in particular as he looked away from Jason’s mesmerising eyes into his lap. He knew what he was asking, he had to make the right decision.

Jason looked toward Gary, this wasn’t going well. He wasn’t sure what signals he was getting from Howard, he wasn’t sure if he should spell it out and just back off, after all Howard had just ended another relationship and they had a gig later that night. Gary looked towards Jason and gave him a thumbs up and big smile, Jason smiled in return and felt better for the support. They sat in silence for another 10 minutes.

“Are you sure?” asked Howard quietly. The question seemed odd, out of place. Jason looked back at Howard, Howard stared back at Jason, “I mean are you sure about us before we take the plunge?” he asked again as Jason tried to focus on the question, a question he never thought Howard would ask, a question he’d wanted to hear for 17 years.

“Never been surer about anything in my life” Jason smiled back, “but I guess that’s because I’ve had 17 years to think about my answer!” Jason smiled to himself and thought if that wasn’t a signal for something more he didn’t know what was!

Howard nodded and smiled, “and I’ve spent 17 years plucking up the courage to ask you out in the first place!”

Jason leant forward and kissed Howard gently on the lips, forgetting Gary and Mark. He felt Howard freeze for a second, then Jason sighed softly as he felt Howard’s lips respond to his.

“For God’s sake get a room” laughed Gary “you know Mark that’s the problem with sharing a dressing room…no privacy for anyone!” Neither Howard or Jason cared, they were too busy kissing, enjoying the taste of each other, the feel of each other under their fingertips.

“Are you sure?” asked Jason quietly as the broke apart, catching their breaths, “I mean it’s a huge step for both of us…I just need to make sure you’re sure about us”.

“I’ve never been surer about anything or anyone in my life” Howard answered honestly, stroking Jay’s face with the back of his hand, “I just wish I’d asked you out years ago” he laughed as he sat back on the sofa, pulling Jason into his embrace. Jason rested his head on Howard’s shoulder and smiled, “it would have saved me so many broken hearts” he whispered into Jason’s hair.

*****

“Are you sure?” asked Jason as they lay on the bed in Jason’s room after the concert and a double brandy for courage and to relax the nerves. “I mean we can just lay here…I’m happy with that…I’m just happy being here with you.” He reached out and stroked Howard’s cheek.

“I’m sure” Howard whispered in return, “I’m just nervous…never done this before”.

“Me either” Jason replied, “which will probably surprise most, but I guess I was just waiting for the right person to come along…I guess I was waiting for you” he smiled. They lay on the bed for a long while before Jason took the plunge, “Get your clothes off then” Jason laughed as he jumped up from the bed and started to peel off his clothes.

Howard sat up and stared at Jason before slowly climbing off the bed and starting to undress. He’d seen Jason naked many times before but as he stood looking at Jason he was seeing him with new eyes, looking at him as a lover rather than a friend, it was a huge step he thought as he stood in shorts as Jason climbed into bed and pulled the covers up.

"Can we just lay here a bit?!” asked Howard quietly as he sat on the edge of the bed, wringing his hands due to nerves, “I mean I’m sure and everything…its just…well you know”. Jason moved to sit at the back of Howard, placing his hands on his shoulders, massaging gently.

“We can lay here for as long as you want or need” Jason whispered, before kissing his neck softly, “come on” he said tugging Howard’s arm gently. They lay in bed staring at each other, still the gap between them. “Come here ye daft bugger” chided Jason gently as he put his arm under Howard and pulled him gently into an embrace. “You know the image you give to everyone of being this big macho gruff fella is a load of bollocks you know! You’re just a big softie at heart…underneath all that hair and face fuzz…but you’re my big softie” he whispered into Howard’s hair as he pulled him into a bear hug, feeling Howard’s arms wrap around him and squeeze him in return. Howard rested his head on Jason’s shoulder as he closed his eyes, sighing softly.

“And here was me thinking we’d have a romantic sex fuelled night!” laughed Jason softly after a few minutes, as Howard’s snoring got louder and Jason could feel his arm going to sleep under Howard’s dead weight, “ah well I guess we have more nights” he whispered as he closed his eyes and slept solidly for the first time in 17 years.

THE END


End file.
